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Thursday, January 28, 2010

Sad but True; Manny Pacquiao does have something to hide

The boxing world has been turned upside down over the disastrous failed negotiations between Top Rank and Golden Boy Promotions over the “Fight of the Century”, Manny Pacquiao vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. Rising young boxing sensation Brandon Gonzales from Sacramento called it “a tragedy for boxing”. And yes it was a tragedy. However, there was something very serious to come out of all this chaos and that was the fact that Manny Pacquiao does have something to hide.

If a man were innocent, he would not hide behind a set dates for blood tests. He would not hide behind excuses. Miguel Cotto, Shane Mosley, Floyd Mayweather Jr, Teddy Atlas, and Oscar De La Hoya are all correct at being suspicious of Manny’s “secret”. Manny Pacquiao is hiding something and it’s something very scary.

Through in-depth investigations, fact checking, countless hours of research, and hundreds of long distance phone calls to the Philippines I have discovered what Manny Pacquiao is TRULY hiding and why he won’t take any blood tests:

Manny Pacquiao is IMMORTAL!!! That’s right, Manny Pacquiao is IMMORTAL!!! You have read it here first. I, Rick Rockwell have broke the “Story of the Century”. Let’s examine what led to my discovery.

* I have discovered that Manny Pacquiao has a huge following which rivals God’s of various religions and cultures.
* Manny Pacquiao has hand speed made of lightning and punches made of thunder.
* When Manny is in the ring, he is “all knowing” and “all powerful”.
* Manny’s footwork defies gravity.
* Manny is so quick that he can be in two places at once.
* Manny has inside him “blood of kings”.

Now, there will of course be other boxers who deny his immortality but Pay no attention to them:

* "I know its Pacquiao but I don’t want people thinking that Manny is super, that nobody can beat him. He is a human being like me.”.. Joshua Clottey (source: EastsideBoxing)

Joshua Clottey is obviously wrong because Pacquiao is not human. He is the pound for pound greatest boxer in the world and he’s immortal.

In efforts to spread the joy of what I've discovered, I hit the streets of Sacramento, CA to find Mayweather Jr fans and get their reactions to my discovery:

* Jason Johnson of North Highlands, CA ... “Are you smoking crack? Pacquiao being immortal? Pacquiao isn’t even as good as Mayweather. He’s ducking Mayweather. He’s scared of Mayweather.”
* Cameron Williams Rancho Cordova, CA... “Did you say immortal? You’ve got your head so far up Pacquiao’s (censored) that you are a fool. Your immortal Pacquiao will get jacked up by Mayweather when they fight.”
* Alan Matthews, Folsom, CA... “Dude, you are hilarious. He’s not even a good boxer. He’s not undefeated like Money Mayweather”.
* Barry Hall, Rancho Cordova, CA.. “Yeah, I’m sure Manny Pacquiao feels like he’s immortal when he’s on all those performance enhancers. Take the tests Manny. Floyd exposed you for the cheater that you are.”

Even in the greatest of discoveries, Mayweather fans are still extremely delusional. How can they continue to be a fan of someone so inferior? How can they still root for a mere mortal when they can root for a superior boxer who is Immortal?

In closing, please note the sarcasm towards the Mayweathers and all the other Pac-haters. However, I do want to leave you with the following comments from Maria Ramirez of Orangevale, CA “Pacquiao’s kindness and love for his fellow countrymen will never be forgotten. So in a way, he is immortal.” Maria, I couldn't have said it any better.

Author: Rick Rockwell

Source: Examiner.com

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